A Few Remarks

I was asked yesterday in an interview whether or not I would call myself [or my multi-faceted lifestyle, at least] exceptional or if I would call it remarkable. The question gave me pause, because initially the words seem relatively interchangeable, synonymous with noteworthy, interesting, unique. But ultimately the query has led me to this conclusion: to call me exceptional is to say that I am somehow an exception to some rule. The notion is that because I have all of these variant facets of life all running concurrently at once, I am somehow more significant than other people whose lives intersect with mine. The idea suggests that although I’m a stripper, being an academic and a writer makes me somehow more acceptable than the other women who, for varied reasons, also work at a nudie bar. This is bullshit. I’m not exceptional. To say I am is to say that all those other women are not exceptional, thereby suggesting they are less than or equal to what society expects a stripper is or is not.

To call me exceptional is to say that I am not one of them. It also suggests that the women I work with must live lives consistent with the largely-conflated stereotypes surrounding the industry. You know that old song: drug-addled sluts from broken homes who survived a sexually-traumatic childhood only to be forced to seek positive affirmation through sexual exhibition straight out of a Mötley Crüe video. Come on, now. Aren't we grown-ups, yet? The whole idea makes me defensive for every other gal I've had the pleasure of working with. To say I’m an exceptional stripper is like saying to a black person ‘I don’t really like black people, but you’re exceptional, you’re better, you’re not one of those . . .”

Likewise, while I would agree that my life is remarkable, I might also argue that EVERYONE has a remarkable life, especially if you’re really good at telling a story. My life is remarkable because I have the skills to make remarks that people find interesting. But that doesn't suggest that my life is somehow better than or more acceptable than the lives of my coworkers. I think my friend Jill is god dammed remarkable because she’s the only person I know who has managed to successfully pull-off every single Pinterest craft, recipe, party-inspiration she’s ever attempted. It’s fucking awe-inspiring! And I occasionally find myself wishing I could be more like her in that respect. Does that make her an exceptional stripper? No. Does it make her remarkable? Yes, because I just remarked.

What this really boils down to is that every human being is remarkable. Those whose lives seem mundane are remarkable if you turn the picture the right way, if you artfully craft the words that shape their memoir.